How taking responsibility gives you back your power

NLP practitioner coach

Growing up my Dad ate raw onion like an apple. I am sure that’s why I can’t stand raw onion and my brother is allergic! It is safe to say I am not a fan. Now a cooked onion, that’s a different story. The smell of onion sizzling in a pan and on a burger, now that’s delicious!

A simple change can shift one’s perception and make all the difference.

I have worked on change in my own life over the last decade and recently a simple change in perception has made all the difference for me.

There was a day almost 10 years ago, a Tuesday that I remember so clearly. I drew a line in the sand that day and made the decision that I could not keep going as I was. My life wasn’t bringing me joy, I was lost and I didn’t know how to fix it. Everything I did up to that point hadn’t worked, I had to do something different. I figured help and new information was out there. So I started looking.

I became aware that I was responsible for the challenges in my life

Once I acknowledged I had got myself to that point, I realized I was the only one that could get me out. I took back my personal power by accepting responsibility for it all. (Which is very different to self blame and I went there for a while too, but that’s for another tale). I started to see that my choices matter.

And so the opening of the onion began. As each new realization came I learned and grew. I had moments of ‘this must be it!’ Now I must be done. I had come so far, but it was like a never ending pass the parcel. Just as another layer came off there was a blasted new one to discover and unwrap. A few times it went from plain brown paper to colored wrap and I was convinced I was at the precipice. And yet on I went. I was so over that bloody onion. I believed that I had to get to the end, to that last layer to be happy. The end was my goal. Well that just served to push the mirage further out of reach.

Relish the onion

Until one of those layers showed me the joy in the unwrapping and the purpose it gave. Why do we love unwrapping gifts? It’s the unknowntaking responsibility and its potential. I suddenly realised that there is excitement and joy that comes with learning and sharing and growing. That’s the endgame. There is always more. And thank goodness! Imagine if we knew it all and had it all and we were done. In my opinion when you’re done, you’re dead.

I now relish the onion as each layer is a gift. I am excited to understand myself and the world more and more each day. The ups are joyous and the downs are exciting for the potential they hold. Because it’s an opportunity for greater love, and joy through our own evolution.

You can make the change right now

The nice part too is that it doesn’t need to take a decade, you can enjoy the journey and everything life has to offer now! You can have it now!

Photo by Burhan Rexhepi on Unsplash

Do you feel like you are hiding who you really are?

Mental Breakdown Leederville

I thought about a comment a friend made recently. She said out loud what has been replaying in my head for so long. She said that I don’t share my news and life easily. She would be bursting to say what was happening and going on if in my shoes.

This wasn’t news to me, I knew I hid a lot of what was going on for me, and I just hadn’t worked out how to change. I felt embarrassed most of the time, I felt like my life was just one disaster after another. I’d learned as most of us do to believe that being wrong was bad.

I felt like I shouldn’t make mistakes. That only right was good and ok.

So I hid all my mistakes, my life, and myself away because it’s not perfect. I waited to have the ‘right outcome’ before I would talk about what I was doing, so if it didn’t work out ‘right’ or ‘perfectly’ I could hide from it.

I didn’t want to put myself out there for fear of failure or being judged.

I had been choosing fear. Fear that I wouldn’t be accepted? or Valued? or Loved? And do you know what, it’s just a conclusion I came to years ago to protect myself, and maybe at that time it did protect me? If you don’t share yourself you can’t be teased or ridiculed. But it became maladaptive, keeping me in fear, holding me back from sharing my real self.

The realisation came slowly but powerfully.feel like you are hiding

No one is going to accept, value, or love me until I do that for myself. We get so distracted with the outside world that we believe we need others to show us respect in order to feel respected. Need others to love us to feel love. Others to value us to feel valued. We have forgotten that we are the creators. That we are making the choices, we are choosing the thoughts and behaviors every minute of our lives that culminate in how we feel moment to moment.

I decided to stop choosing fear

Are you choosing fear? Is it keeping you from taking a risk? Do you feel like you are hiding who you really are?
Once this belief was in my awareness I could change it, and I have…this blog is a testament to that! want to learn how too?

Beautiful photo from Unsplash– Chase fade (Thank you)

Want to find the joy in your life?

Find the joy coaching

Do you want to find more joy in your life?

It’s taken me a long time to get here:

To a place where I felt comfortable to share my true self. Comfortable enough in my own skin to give the love, support, and insight that comes through me. I feel like I’ve grown enough personally now to start. So here I am sharing what’s come up for me and what’s continuing to come up.

When enough people tell you that you’ve helped them see their challenges differently and more positively, you start to believe that you can. So here we are. It’s time to do this and I have to say it gives me such joy to be writing about what really matters to me.find the joy Leederville

Anything I can share that I have been so blessed to find; that sends someone else in a new direction; sends them closer to their inner joy; well, that gives me the feeling we’re all chasing.

Through much study and training of the incredible work of so many amazing people past and present, I have established a coaching and therapy practice so that you too can find the JOY.

Beautiful photo from Unsplash– Caroline Hernandez (Thank you)